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Dakota Gardener: Garden Humor
By: Carrie Knutson, NDSU/Grand Forks Co. Extension - 07/21/2021

Gardening can be a tough hobby.

Gardening is not like playing golf or basketball. Gardeners play only one game a year. It's a game where the opponents - Mother Nature, insects and animals - try their best to stop us from winning a beautiful landscape and pantry full of vegetables to eat during the winter.

This has been a difficult year for many of us in the plant world: worsening drought conditions throughout the state, early warmth followed by frost and now heat that just won't stop.

So, in light of all the struggles we face as gardeners, I thought it was time for some humor to help us through the rest of the growing season. I present a "You might be a gardener if ..." list.

- You have amended soil, built raised beds or hauled different soil in to grow plants that need a low soil pH, specifically blueberries.

- You ever have rescued plants from yard waste disposal sites.

- You have killed a favorite plant at least three times but still will try again next year just in case the plant decides to grow this time.

- You have two pairs of gardening shoes. One of them is a good pair that you save for going out in public. The other pair doesn't leave the yard.

- You have a favorite pair of work gloves that has holes patched with several layers of duct tape.

- You consistently try to grow plants out of their hardiness zone.

- Your family complains about your composting habit.

- You have no room for vehicles in your garage on frost warning mornings because of all your plants.

- Rabbits and squirrels are your arch nemeses.

- You have fences within fences within fences to keep your pets and arch nemeses out of your garden.

- You paint your nails a dark color during the growing season to help hide the dirt.

- While visiting a local greenhouse or garden store, you get asked if work you there. You say no but help the customer anyway.

- Many of your sentences begin with "Next year I/we should try ... ."

I hope you enjoyed reading the list and laughed at least at little. I must admit I have done quite a few of these items, but I still have some left to do. Maybe next year I can add them to my garden to-do list. Happy gardening!

For more information about gardening, contact your local NDSU Extension agent. Find the Extension office for your county at

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